I’ve had blogs before. I’ve really enjoyed writing on them. But it’s been awhile since I have written, since so many of the thoughts going through my head were and are so contrary to much of the American church believes, and I don’t want to get into debates, at least not while I’m still trying to figure things out for myself.
So, I needed a place where I could write out my thoughts.
And, it needed to be a place where I could figure out what my step should be, the next place God is calling me to. There’s just one problem with that. I’ve got to be careful just how critical of the American church, et al I am, because of my job. Craziness. So, I’ll say it now. The views expressed are not the views of my employer, the church I sometimes attend, the church I grew up in, my house church, my friends, my parents, my alma mater, my dog, (wait, I don’t have one), or anyone else.
So. I’ve been out of college for more than a year. And it’s been quite the year. I “randomly” fell into a temporary job filling in for someone at the church I grew up in, a church I never thought/wanted to be at. Looking back, I can say that I think that experience both helped and hurt my view of that one church. As time goes on, I’m more neutral. What I am more convinced of are the issues with church as a whole…but more on that later.
Last December, out of the blue, I was offered a position at a church that I loved (well, kind of, seeing as it still came with the megachurch baggage, but much less than many other places) that seemed perfect for me, and my college degree. Oddly, I mildly freaked out, and actually questioned working there much more than I questioned working at the first church. Odd. I took the job, and things have gone pretty well. There’s only so much I can about my job…when I’m in a “megachurch” I like certain aspects of it, am decent at it, and am just ok with the whole situation. But then, increasingly frequently, I look around and can’t figure out why I’m there. It used to be that these thoughts happened ever few weeks…but lately, well, let’s just say it’s a lot more often than that.
On top of this whole thing comes the fact that, perhaps even more importantly, I’m seriously questioning the way I do church. (I could say the way America, the suburbs, etc. do church, but hello, we all know I can be dang hypocritical, so why not just flat out say it.) And that, by default, requires me to question my job. It’s strange that they go hand in hand, but such is the life of a minister’s daughter, who grew up in the megachurch, and has a majors in both Bible and ministry, and doesn’t really know anything else. That, too, is a whole ‘nother post.
This blog is going to be a record of my journey as I struggle and search out answers about my faith, which then leads to questioning church, my job, my future, the way I/we worship, relationships, my friends (especially how intertwined my friends are with a church of some sort), and pretty much everything in how I view my life.
Welcome to my journey. I think it’s going to prove to be interesting.
