Coffeehouse thoughts.

Ahhh. Finally. At the end of a long, roller-coaster week, it’s really nice to have down time. This evening I’ve had a home-cooked meal, good conversation with a friend, and now, I’m sitting in a downtown coffeehouse, listening to some Derek Webb, drinking a good chai latte, and watching traffic out the window. I mean, working productively. Haha.

I’ve been looking up inner-city multi-family properties. I’ve got that restless feeling again, so ready to move out. Due to some existing situations, and one new development, that’s looking mighty unlikely, but hey, at least I can help someone else look!

Ok, for now, I’m going to actually use my college degree, and work on some marketing plans. As Tony says, I like to be involved and learning about lots of different things, and this is one area that I didn’t get much practice in college, and certainly not after that. But I really enjoy it nonetheless. And I finally feel like I have some resources in place to feel like I can do something more comprehensive.

So, the three projects I want to work on:

1. Marketing Plan and General Ideas for Jubilee
2. Marketing Plan for a Log Cabin in a bad real estate market
3. Spreadsheet of College Application Deadlines and Details

What to write?

I have a bad habit of doing this…waiting until I have WAY too much to write.  But, here goes…

In the past few weeks, I’ve been into an emotional roller coaster, some of it in my own life, some of it with friends.

As much as I could say, I won’t, not on here, not right now.  But I’m comforted (ok, maybe slightly disturbed) by a couple of things.  First, that we’re not in middle school anymore.  That means that things in life are definitely more serious, more life-changing.  But at the same time, they are more life-changing.  As in, in a lot of ways, it’s really beginning to hit me that…(wow, I’m realizing this as I’m typing it) all that waiting for “someday”, all that saying “well, when I’m older…” or thinking that things are so far down the road…it’s here.

All those things I was waiting for, the life I was waiting to start.  I’m living it.  And tonight, writing this, I feel really compelled to truly live it wide-open, being the real me, and letting others in.  And I’m sometimes not very good at that.

I guess I kind of feel that I’ve reached a point of no return.  I can’t go backwards, and there are issues that just can’t be avoided, so it’s not like you can go sideways.  It’s time to move forward.

And oh yeah.  The other thing that I’m comforted by is the fact that God is in control.  If all of these things are His will, then so be it.  As it says in Ecclesiastes, “worrying can’t add one hair to your head”.  I’m just giving it over to God.  All these feelings that have been hidden for so long, feelings that I never knew were there, and feelings that just seem to go hand in hand with realizing that that life has started.

My dear friend Angie said last night that “there’s just nothing like finding your person”.  That with that person, you can accomplish so much more.  That your dreams can take new flight.

Like I realized 6 months ago, it’s that hope that I’m really living in.

Father, let me not be blinded by everything in the background, or the foreground.  Keep me focused on Your will.  Give my dreams passion and wings in Your timing.  I pray for the ability to love as You. 

I just saw the most ridiculous thing…

I just saw the most ridiculous license plate on a Lexus and it says “Liv2XS” (Live to Excess). Seriously? Wait, that’s like summing up so much that is wrong with American cultures. All on the back of a license plate.

So sad.

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So up and down emotionally….

Yesterday was SO up and down emotionally. On one hand I got to see some old good college friends; got to talk to college presidents and got some potential job leads for the future.   And, through those conversations, another situation that’s going on, and through a conversation with a Massillon school bus driver, I got some major affirmation that I could and really should get a job in the field of academics, or at least working somehow with college students. I really feel like it is reaffirmation of where I am supposed to be.

On the other hand, I learned some crazy sad news about a friend…news that is going to shake things up for quite a while, and that will be very hard for her to get through.  Several of us are just in shock, and trying to figure out how to best handle the situation.   Definitely with prayer, and trying to figure out what else to do.

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Things that I want to do…

Of, things I want to explore, to see how they fit in my life.

• The Old Testament
  • Really studying what the Old Testament can mean to me today
  •  Including Messianic Judaism
  • How Jesus’ Jewishness informed His life, and should/could inform ours
  • What laws from the OT still have a point today, and why they do
  • How the OT laws impact our eating
• Research local eating
  • CSA’s, organic, no white sugar/flour, etc.
• Other Christian traditions
• How I feel called to look at social justice, the poor, the oppressed, and so many others.
  • Anabaptist
  • Mennonite
• How a Jesus-follower could/should respond to environment?
  • Should we be green?
  • Balancing being good stewards of money with environment
• How I can have an impact on others?
  • Higher ed?
  • Non-profit?
    • What kind?
  • Corporate world?
  • Freelance marketing
  • Freelance writing
  • Networking
    • Career counseling?
  • Missions?
    • What causes should I really work for?

  Is this in the church at all?

Interesting line from “The Jesus I Never Knew”

So lately I’ve been reading The Jesus I Never Knew, by Philip Yancey.

I’ve been meaning to note this for weeks, and just now thought of it again.

On page 16, Yancey, is commenting about how few people Jesus talked to in relationship to Billy Graham. He remarks that “this Galilean, who in his lifetime spoke to fewer people than would fill just one of the many stadia Graham has filled, changed the world more than any other person.”

One word in this sentence really made me think. Stadia. The definition that I knew for Stadia was that it was a unit of measurement. However, in this instance, it’s defined as a plural of a stadium, a large venue that holds a lot of people.

One of the church planting organizations that I am quite familiar with, and looked into working with, is called Stadia. I’ve always thought it kind of a strange name, to be named for a measurement (I mean, I can make the jump to the fact that they want to reach so many people, etc, but…). But now, I couldn’t help but associate the organization Stadia with stadiums. Being a strong proponent of house churches, organic movements, and having a lot of baggage from megachurches, the corporate church-planting movement, etc., I just sat there and wondered if that was really Stadia’s goal-to fill stadiums (or, large megachurches that feel like stadiums…and they are out there, because I sat in one last night, and two of us audibly asked “Hey, where are the cupholders?”)

If we are filling stadiums, with people that are professing Jesus, that’s awesome. But…where is the life change, where is the personal relationships, where are the people that hold them accountable, where are the people that challenge that the Bible includes much that isn’t feel good, like helping the widows and orphans.

Ironically, I can remember my dad making some of those comments after a Billy Graham conference roared through town, leaving many people really convicted, but unconnected to any local church. Hmmmm.

Last thought-Church planting and megachurch discussion aside, the next line of that quote is really interesting too-”He introduced a new force field into history, and now holds the allegiance of a third of all people on earth.”

A week of goals.

I’m not sure why, but I was really convicted today to get some things done this week.

So, this week, I am going to:

• Get my hair cut (already knew that was going to happen)-Tuesday
• Finish the large work project-Monday (and other nights as needed)
• Redo my resume
• Apply ___
• Go through the tons of clothes I have, and give a lot away
• Start organizing some of the chaos, and giving away what I can
  • Start with books?
  • Organize paperwork in hanging file

And for now, I’m going to look up a few more hairstyles, and look up so job listings.  It feels good making the decision to be productive.  Discipline is a good thing.

A door gradually shutting…

This is in some ways, the opposite of the previous post, “The Good Point.”  I’m feeling like the good points are getting completely swamped by the other stuff.  In some ways, regarding ____ Church, I feel kind of selfish that I feel my best when attending a service. Period.  Not worrying about typos, or the slides, or the brochure, or [insert work-related item here].  Makes me feel like I should do something to contribute.  Which sounds insane, since I work there.  Let’s say I didn’t.  I guess I’m saying that I would feel like a mooch.  I don’t feel like I have to have that answer right now.

More on this in the morning…

The good side.

Once in a while, something happens that reminds me that there are some really neat things about the church that I work at.  That there’s a reason I chose to worship there.  (Usually this happens at a weekend service, but when the week wears me out, or something “better” comes along, I don’t go.  Hence the fact that it had been a month since I had been there.)

____ Church has an adoption ministry.  This seems to be pretty rare in churchdom.  And I have a feeling that this ministry is a far cry from anything similar elsewhere.  It is promoted as being for people who are interested in adoption, have adopted, or are in the process.  It is not just for people from ____ Church, it’s for the community too.  Last night they had a family celebration.  Many families, with tons of little kids, some decked out in Western duds (the theme of the night), with many crockpots, for the chili cook-off. There were games, prizes, good food.  It just looked so welcoming.  As someone with a passion for adoption, I kind of wished I could go.  (Idea-Mention that they could promote this to college students wanting to look into adoption for the future, so that the young single people won’t feel so intimidated.)

The whole thing demonstrated a kind of community that seems to defy the megachurch, that seems to redeem it in some ways.  A way of using the resources that they’ve been given (referring to the church, but it also fits many of the adoptive parents) to build a community, to reach out.

It makes me smile thinking about it…but those moments are far too few.

Huh?

I’m all for being green (some think I take it a little far), but seriously? Green engagement rings?!

Click here to see them!

P.S. Hmm. Upon looking at the site more closely, maybe it does make sense. I expecially like the recycling of jewelry to make a completely different piece.

EDIT-When you go to check out on the site, you can choose to pay a  “carbon offset tax” to balance out the cost of making/shipping your jewelry.  Fascinating!