After all…

After all this time, all the emotions, after life just happened…

I can’t believe how the last few days have gone.  I’d say how I’m feeling, but it seems to change every 15 minutes.

Pretty much every major part of my life is in some state of chaos right now.

I can’t shake the feeling that I’m running on auto-pilot.  I keep wondering when I’m going to crash.

I’m trying to figure out why, in some ways, I’m not feeling very much.  I think maybe I immediately plastered big, huge walls around my heart, in an attempt to reduce the damage.  And because of that, I’m dealing, but I don’t know how.  Also, I’m trying revert back to where I was heading before,

How can one simple (or not) email cause such insanity?

I have no idea what I want, and I’ve got this subconscious feeling that if I stop to try to figure it out, I’m going to just lose it.  (In some way, I don’t think that would be so bad.  I think maybe I need to just let myself truly feel for a little while).

Amidst the chaos that has my heart and head completely upside down, is good chaos that reminds me that at least one part of my life is in positive transition.  I’ve got graduate assistant interviews on Monday, and that’s really exciting.

What do I want, and what does that mean?  Abba Father…help. 

P.S. If you are reading this with a feed reader, check out my new layout.  It’s not ideal, but I do like it.
P.P.S.  You might like this video.     (Since I know who most often reads this, I can say things like that.  Ha)