The Little Things…

Most of the time, I find myself wanting to run ahead, wanting to get to that next big step.  And I’m so impatient.

But then moments happen like late tonight.  When I realize that I truly love the pace that we are going.  That it’s helping me to fall a little at a time, and to realize that this is truly something that I want, and truly something that I want to last.  And to just realize that I’m ok…that I’m not going to run.

Tonight, it was the touch of your rough stubble on my cheek.  It was a feeling that I had wondered if I would be ok with, and in just a heartbeat, I realized that I liked that feeling…that I loved that feeling…that it was comforting…that I would be just fine feeling that for years.

Timing.

This next year six months may be the wildest I’ve ever experienced, and may just be the wildest for quite some time.  I’m alternating between forgetting that anything is changing to bursting out laughing because I can’t quite grasp it all.  And I keep being blown away by the fact that this is my life. For so many reasons.

And sometime, sometime… in the course of today, I’ve gone from thinking “Oh my gosh, I can’t handle all this change at once!” to thinking “Oh, what the heck! If I’m gonna change one thing, might was well change everything!” (Not sure if that’s good logic or not, but it’s progress of some sort!)

P.S. I keep thinking that I should google one of those Christian books for what questions to ask in a serious relationship. And then I start laughing at myself. Because I threw the rest of the Christian books out the door ages ago, so why would I start now? And because, as much as I would like to be, I just don’t think so many people fit in those molds, and I really don’t think we do!
Disclaimer–I do believe there is value in that kind of book, taken in moderation, for some people, somewhere.

This Surreal Life

Wasn’t that the title of a bad reality show? Hmm…

Anyway, I’m getting the feeling that my life may never stop being surreal and never stop surprising me.

Just when I think I might just possibly have something figured out, something else throws me for a loop.

At this point, there are only two three things I know for sure.

I know that this relationship keeps blowing me away, and I’m amazed that IT is quite possibly the most stable thing in my life. I never saw that coming.

I know that within the next month, we both are going to have to make decisions, or have decisions made for us, that are going to dictate where I (we?) spend the next year, and quite possibly the next two. There are current jobs on the line, at least one possible new job, educational opportunities, housing changes/opportunities. It’s just a little daunting at times. One day at a time…

I know that I love Jesus, and I want to follow Him with others, and I’ve got a renewed hope for dreams that have been pushed to the side for too long. I’m excited to pursue these dreams with friends, new and old!

And maybe that’s all I really need to know. That I need relationships around me (I have great friends, all around), that I can take things one day at a time, that I need to keep running for dreams, and that I love Jesus.

The First… #2

Tonight is the first time that I’m setting my alarm to make sure someone other than me is up for an important meeting.

8:30 a.m. Edit-Ok, so I didn’t actually call or text to make sure that the someone else was up, but I did wake up and pray for him at that point…hopefully that counts!

The First… #1

Tonight was the first time that I wrote my thoughts in an email instead of a blog post.